The Lusty Land of Oz (Horny Oz Book 2) by Alyce Thorndyke

Author:Alyce Thorndyke
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Gropper Press
Published: 2020-08-25T04:00:00+00:00

CHapter ELEVEN

A Gump is a rather large animal with a massive spread of antlers. Sort of like a moose. It has green skin and a pink nose. The nose is turned upwards and it has a billy goatee under the chin.

“This is a mystery,” offered the Scarecrow. “How did it die? People and animals in Oz don’t die. They can be chopped to pieces, but even the pieces don’t die. So how is the Gump dead?”

“Don’t know and don’t care,” responded Tip. “All that matters is that we have the head of our new flying animal.”

The group carefully lifted the Gump head down from the wall and carried it over to where the two couches were put together. They arranged the head at one end of the couches and Tin Woodman, being a handy fellow, fastened the head in place.

Meanwhile, the sound of tick, tick, tick from the door was getting louder.

“Okay,” said Tip. “Are you ready for some magic?”

“Not until we get some tail.”

“We don’t have time to be fucking around,” said Tin Man.

“I don’t mean that.” Jack pointed at the flying contraption. “He needs a tail.”

“Are we sure the Gump was a he? Does a ‘he’ need a tail? Or was it a she, and does ‘she’ need a tail?” Woggle Butt expanded upon the subject proudly.

“You’re saying that males have tails, but females don’t? Or is it the other way around?” asked Jack.

“When you go after a female you get a piece of tale. You don’t get that when you go after a man. I don’t think. So there’s no need for a tail,” pronounced Woggly Bug officiously.

“I beg to differ,” said Jack.

“But I’m smarter than you, so I’m right and you’re wrong.”

“I’ve decided you’re not smarter than me.”

“Oh, but I am. I’m taller, and my cock is nicer, if not noticeably bigger. So I’m smarter. Not only that, I have a piece of paper that proves I’m smarter than you.” Woggle Butt had drawn himself up in the most impressive manner while he was speaking, and he looked far down his nose, and his brainery couldn’t be denied.

Jack, however, had been thinking things through. He said, “I don’t believe a piece of paper can make you smarter.”

“Which just goes to show how much smarter I am than you, that you don’t even know how important a piece of paper is.”

Jack leaned forward and said, “Prove it. Let’s see this piece of paper.”

Woggle Butt suddenly tried to wiggle out of the situation.

“Well, I…see here…” he sounded most pompous, “I don’t show my paper to just anyone…”

“Maybe we should see this piece of paper,” said Tip. He wasn’t feeling too good about being labeled the dumbest of the bunch.

“Well, I…uh…I packed it away, and I simply must get it out one of these days.”

“You don’t have a piece of paper!” accused Jack.

“I most certainly do! It’s just with something that important one must be very careful and not just toss it around frivolously.”

“Tail,” said Jack, convinced he had won the argument.

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